How To Encourage Your Wife To NOT Put Out

I get that this post is not your typical “how to” entry here at We 3 Geeks. I don’t know, maybe you should think of this post as a “how to” in reverse, much like How To Lose A Guy In Ten Days. You know, what all men should not do if they plan on having a romantic evening with their spouse. Please, take your time reading as these snippets into my life need no embellishing. Some learn by observation, some on-the-job, some at college, and yet some still learn like me–by talking and then realizing I shouldn’t have said whatever it was I said. The scary truth of a man with an untamed tongue starts now…

A List Of What Not To Say And Do

1. I find it unfruitful to forget your wife’s birthday and wedding anniversary in the first year of marriage.
2. It is never okay to tell your wife to stop complaining about pregnancy because pregnancy is God’s will for women.
3. Telling your wife she is the perfect babysitter will only land you more babysitting jobs.
4. Asking a random individual at the hospital to wheel your wife (who is currently in labor) to the delivery room will only make the pain that much worse.
5. If you want to embarrass your wife ask a strange man on an airplane to explain the science behind how a plane flies.
6. As much as I like myself, walking around naked has never accomplished anything.
7. Explaining to your wife she should enjoy doing the dishes because it makes you happy will only make the pile of dishes grow bigger.
8. Never tell your wife she looks and acts like her mom.
9. Telling your wife your work is more important than hers is never a good thing.
10. Asking your wife to save money by not purchasing her a birthday present is not worth the money you save…NEVER!

My Answers–Innocent Until Proven Guilty

1. Listen, the first year of marriage is so tough. I was in school and not even around 4 days of the week. I was cutting grass for a living and we were barely surviving on both of our incomes. Aren’t I allowed a few mistakes?
2. I didn’t write the book and I am not in control, but I can definitely see how this would enrage some women.
3. I thought it was a compliment.
4. I am afraid of elevators and I am not even sure how they work. I was simply trying to make it to the maturity–I mean maternity wing safely.
5. How do planes even work?
6. This is the only one where I might be guilty.
7. Okay, maybe this one as well.
8. I like my mother-in-law.
9. I thought this would be a relief to her as I am responsible for providing for the family.
10. WWDRD? What would Dave Ramsey Do?

As in all things in life we must learn from others mistakes. Just like James 3: 1-12 states, a lot of these instances could have been helped by simply not talking. Maybe I should try a piece of duck tape.

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